Faith
Growing up, we went to church every Sunday. I really can't remember not going to church on Sundays and also going to Sunday school and once I was older, going to confirmation. In our family, there was never really a choice on Sunday; you just went to church. I was also very involved in our youth group even though the church I went to had a heckuva time getting someone to lead the group. For a while, we were without a leader so a few of us that were the oldest carried it. One of the guys was a junior deacon and Lord only knows why he had a key to the church but he did. Mind you; we were in high school so, you know, that was taking a chance but our only goal was to have meetings and keep the group running. My last meeting was when our new pastor came into the church while we were discussing what our next activity would be and reamed us out for being in the church. Now, this wasn't a stern talking to; this was straight up yelling. I went home and told my Mom that I would never step foot in that church for a regular service again unless he apologized. He never did and I never went back for a regular service. My parents eventually left that church as they weren't really keen on that pastor and my Mom has become very involved in her new church.
I couldn't tell you the last time I went to a regular church service that wasn't related to a holiday, a wedding, a funeral, baptism or confirmation. And I'm totally okay with it.
Back in 1999, I started to lose my faith when LW took his life. See, I prayed and prayed for him to be okay and it didn't happen and I put part of the blame on God. How could He let this happen?
Sept 11, 2001: who didn't lose some faith that horrendous day? I sure did. What little I had left was almost obliterated that day.
February 5, 2012: Our small town is rocked by the double murder at a local funeral home. The funeral director, a pillar in the community and I've been told a super nice guy, and a young intern shot and killed in broad daylight in the funeral home. Brutal, shocking, horrible. And later, a young priest is accused of the murders but never goes to trial as he took his own life. How could God let this happen to nice people??
That day, what little faith I had left disappeared.
I'll never forget the day after LW passed away. Their family priest was at the house and Dad, myself, the priest and LW's sister-in-law were sitting in the Living Room and we were just sitting there quietly until LW's sister-in-law looked at the priest and, in a very determined voice said, "Father; why did this happen? How could God let this happen?" The priest looked at her and quietly said, "The Lord can be mysterious." The sister-in-law stood up and snapped, "That's not a good enough answer." and stalked out of the room. Inside, I was cheering her for having the guts to say it and be angry about the answer. She, and we, had every damn right to be angry at that answer.
A few years ago, the Pope was visiting the US and I saw a story on the news about how he stopped his motorcade as he was leaving an airport and went to the side to bless a young man with severe disabilities in a wheelchair. He kissed the young man and touched his face and prayed over him. And I wept as I watched this.
Why this touched me so, I have no idea but that day, Pope Francis restored a little of my faith. My faith in God and my faith in humanity.
Yes; I believe in God and I still call myself a Christian. No; I don't go to church but I'm not one who believes going to church every Sunday and being able to quote from the Bible makes you a good Christian. I believe you can be spiritual and not be religious. I believe that having a good & giving heart is more important than how many hours your behind logs on a church pew.
I couldn't tell you the last time I went to a regular church service that wasn't related to a holiday, a wedding, a funeral, baptism or confirmation. And I'm totally okay with it.
Back in 1999, I started to lose my faith when LW took his life. See, I prayed and prayed for him to be okay and it didn't happen and I put part of the blame on God. How could He let this happen?
Sept 11, 2001: who didn't lose some faith that horrendous day? I sure did. What little I had left was almost obliterated that day.
February 5, 2012: Our small town is rocked by the double murder at a local funeral home. The funeral director, a pillar in the community and I've been told a super nice guy, and a young intern shot and killed in broad daylight in the funeral home. Brutal, shocking, horrible. And later, a young priest is accused of the murders but never goes to trial as he took his own life. How could God let this happen to nice people??
That day, what little faith I had left disappeared.
I'll never forget the day after LW passed away. Their family priest was at the house and Dad, myself, the priest and LW's sister-in-law were sitting in the Living Room and we were just sitting there quietly until LW's sister-in-law looked at the priest and, in a very determined voice said, "Father; why did this happen? How could God let this happen?" The priest looked at her and quietly said, "The Lord can be mysterious." The sister-in-law stood up and snapped, "That's not a good enough answer." and stalked out of the room. Inside, I was cheering her for having the guts to say it and be angry about the answer. She, and we, had every damn right to be angry at that answer.
A few years ago, the Pope was visiting the US and I saw a story on the news about how he stopped his motorcade as he was leaving an airport and went to the side to bless a young man with severe disabilities in a wheelchair. He kissed the young man and touched his face and prayed over him. And I wept as I watched this.
Yes; I believe in God and I still call myself a Christian. No; I don't go to church but I'm not one who believes going to church every Sunday and being able to quote from the Bible makes you a good Christian. I believe you can be spiritual and not be religious. I believe that having a good & giving heart is more important than how many hours your behind logs on a church pew.
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