I Kid You Not
When I was a little girl, one of my favorite things to do was play with dolls. I looooved playing with dolls. We didn't have a lot of money when I was growing up but I always had a few dolls and my Mom made doll clothes for them so my dolls were stylin'! I enjoyed playing "Mommy".
What happened, you ask?
When I was in my mid 20's, we were having Thanksgiving at my Grandma Ann's house with my Dad's brother, his wife & his kids and their kids. My cousin had a newish baby and she was bouncing him on her lap as we sat chatting after our delicious meal and, out of the blue, I said, "I'm never having children."
Sweet Lord. With the way my Dad reacted you would think I had announced that I had murdered 27 men and had them in a freezer in my basement and was eating their body parts for snacks.
He lost his damn mind over my announcement.
"How can you even say that?! You're not married yet and you'll change your mind!"
My Aunt, bless her soul, said, "I think it's admirable that you know what you want and it's okay; too many women that shouldn't have them do."
EXACTLY.
I think some people were born knowing they should procreate and some were born knowing they shouldn't. I am the latter. Let me tell you how I feel about babies:
Meh.
I am not one of those women who immediately want to hold a baby when they see it. In fact, I am the exact opposite. I see one and want to run as fast as I can from it. I don't get all gushy and mushy and ga ga over babies. Now, when kids get a little bit older and start talking in full sentences and are fun, I can deal with them. I wouldn't want one of them but I'll hang with them for a few.
When my first niece was born, I was tickled pink and I was there on the second day of her life to hold her. She and I were instant buds and as she went through babydom, I was there. That kid was really special to me and she still is. Her brother came along and I didn't hold that kid til he was 5 months old and I have no idea why. I was just not into the "I must hold it" phase anymore. I loved the kid but didn't feel the need to hold and cuddle him. Less than a year later, my second niece came along. I honestly cannot remember if I held her when she was a baby. I think I did? Maybe after the 6 month age? I don't think me not holding the last two when they were infants makes me a bad aunt. Actually, I've always thought I was the kick ass aunt. I've taken both nieces on trips to Savannah and my nephew to this day still makes me feel guilty that I never took him on a trip. The kid was traveling the world biking when he was a teenager so by the time he had time to go on a trip, I was kinda over it. Maybe one day yet.
Thing is, over the years, I have been shamed for not wanting children and that pisses me off. Is there a law on the books stating that women must reproduce? Why do other women think it's okay to question why I don't have kids? I don't question why they do have them.
I have always told people I don't have a maternal bone in my body and my friend Jamie once scoffed at that and said, "I've seen how you are with your dog; you definitely are maternal."
My response?
"I can leave my dog in the kennel all day; you do that with a kid and the cops come."
What happened, you ask?
When I was in my mid 20's, we were having Thanksgiving at my Grandma Ann's house with my Dad's brother, his wife & his kids and their kids. My cousin had a newish baby and she was bouncing him on her lap as we sat chatting after our delicious meal and, out of the blue, I said, "I'm never having children."
Sweet Lord. With the way my Dad reacted you would think I had announced that I had murdered 27 men and had them in a freezer in my basement and was eating their body parts for snacks.
He lost his damn mind over my announcement.
"How can you even say that?! You're not married yet and you'll change your mind!"
My Aunt, bless her soul, said, "I think it's admirable that you know what you want and it's okay; too many women that shouldn't have them do."
EXACTLY.
I think some people were born knowing they should procreate and some were born knowing they shouldn't. I am the latter. Let me tell you how I feel about babies:
Meh.
I am not one of those women who immediately want to hold a baby when they see it. In fact, I am the exact opposite. I see one and want to run as fast as I can from it. I don't get all gushy and mushy and ga ga over babies. Now, when kids get a little bit older and start talking in full sentences and are fun, I can deal with them. I wouldn't want one of them but I'll hang with them for a few.
When my first niece was born, I was tickled pink and I was there on the second day of her life to hold her. She and I were instant buds and as she went through babydom, I was there. That kid was really special to me and she still is. Her brother came along and I didn't hold that kid til he was 5 months old and I have no idea why. I was just not into the "I must hold it" phase anymore. I loved the kid but didn't feel the need to hold and cuddle him. Less than a year later, my second niece came along. I honestly cannot remember if I held her when she was a baby. I think I did? Maybe after the 6 month age? I don't think me not holding the last two when they were infants makes me a bad aunt. Actually, I've always thought I was the kick ass aunt. I've taken both nieces on trips to Savannah and my nephew to this day still makes me feel guilty that I never took him on a trip. The kid was traveling the world biking when he was a teenager so by the time he had time to go on a trip, I was kinda over it. Maybe one day yet.
Thing is, over the years, I have been shamed for not wanting children and that pisses me off. Is there a law on the books stating that women must reproduce? Why do other women think it's okay to question why I don't have kids? I don't question why they do have them.
I have always told people I don't have a maternal bone in my body and my friend Jamie once scoffed at that and said, "I've seen how you are with your dog; you definitely are maternal."
My response?
"I can leave my dog in the kennel all day; you do that with a kid and the cops come."
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