Classy Sassy
I think people wonder where I get my sass from and I like to think I get it from my paternal Grandmother. Her name was Anna Elizabeth but was known as "Ann" and was from a large Danish family; she was one of 12 children. Grandma was, in two words, kick ass but I didn't really realize how awesome she was until I was a teenager.
I've always been a dog lover and my maternal Grandmother had a dog when I was growing up and I loved that dog more than anything else and being a moron kid, I tended to favor that Grandma over the other because, duh, DOG. I know; ridiculous but I was a kid so give me a break. So after high school, I went to college for a hot minute and knew it just wasn't for me. I sent both Grandmothers a letter letting them know I was leaving school and why. Well, my maternal Grandmother sent me a card telling me she was very disappointed in me and that absolutely wrecked me. I would spend weeks each summer with that Grandma and I thought she'd be more understanding. Grandma Ann sent me a card that said, "It's stupid to spend money on school when you don't like it. Do what makes you happy." (OMG; I'm tearing up as I write this. I sure miss her). Grandma Ann wasn't judging me in any way and I needed that so much as I was floundering and feeling like I was letting the whole world down. She still loved me because that's what a Grandma does when her granddaughter is struggling. I'm not saying that my other Grandma didn't love me but when she said she was disappointed in me, I was crushed as I'd always been close to her and her saying that really just devastated me. And I can't lie; it changed my relationship with her.
Grandma Ann was rarely in anything other than a dress or skirt; I saw her only once in my life in a pair of pants. When she was younger and we'd get together for any family occasion, she'd always have high heels on, be dressed to the nines and have the most awesome costume jewelry on. And could she cook. Her fried chicken was legendary. And bake? Sweet Jesus; no one better. My brother makes her sugar cookies at Christmas and when I open the container and get that first whiff, I always sigh and say, "Grandma." Peanut bars, rosettes, chocolate pie...the woman could bake! And every Christmas, she made rum pudding. Now, Grandma was a very strict Methodist and didn't drink and the woman had a very heavy hand when it came to the rum in her rum pudding. Would burn the hair out of your nostrils!
One year at some family holiday, we were all talking about what our favorite sitcoms were. Now, mind you, Grandma was in her 80's so I'm thinking she's not watching any sitcoms; I can remember watching The Lawrence Welk Show at her house quite often. My cousin asked her what sitcoms she liked and she paused a moment then said, "I like 'Friends' but you know what? Not everybody likes Raymond!" How can you not love that????
I think some of the most awesome moments are the moments Grandma had with my oldest niece. See, we're not a huggy, kissy "I love you" family at all but when that niece came along, Grandma was all in. One holiday at my sister's house, my niece, who was quite young at the time, was leaning over the back of the loveseat looking out at the street waiting for other people to arrive. Grandma, dressed up as usual including some kick ass spectator pumps, was right next to her on her knees looking out the window with her. I can see it plain as day. They also shared a love of fashion. Maren has been a fashionista her whole life and was walking in heels at the age of 3 better than I do now at age 50. Well, Maren always loved Grandma's jewelry and one time when we went to visit Grandma, the first thing Grandma did was take Maren by the hand and lead her to the bedroom and to her jewelry box to play. It was the sweetest damn thing ever.
I mentioned that we're not a huggy, kissy family and neither are we ones to dole out compliments; it's just not really in our nature. I was the maid of honor at my sister's wedding and I was in the lobby area of the church hanging with another bridesmaid and we were all dressed in our finery with our hair done, etc. Grandma came out of the bathroom at the top of the stairs, saw me, stood with her hand on her chest and said, "You're beautiful!" No one had ever told me I was beautiful in my life. My Lord; I can still see her face as she said it to me. (Damn; what is in my eyes? They won't stop "watering"!)
My Dad and I went to have lunch with her in her apartment one October day (she lived in her own house til she was in her 90's). Her voice had gotten so soft she was hard to hear and as we sat chatting while Dad cleaned up, I knew she didn't know who I was. She asked me if I was married and when I told her no that it was just me and the dog, she nodded and said, "You and God; that's good." Shortly thereafter, she was placed in a nursing home; she had Alzheimers. After she entered the nursing home, I went to see her and take her some clothes. She was sitting in the common room in a wheelchair dressed in a track suit which was just wrong. I sat by her and said hello and she didn't know me. I told her I was Tom's daughter and she said, "You know; that Tom just works too hard!" We talked about baseball (she was a rabid Twins fan) and a few other things. When I left, I was crying as I walked to my car. My sassy, classy Grandma was lost. I never saw her again.
My Grandma passed away at the age of 97. At her funeral, the minister spoke about how Grandma was pretty no nonsense and always did things herself to make sure they were done right and a light went off in my brain. See, I always feel that if you want it done right you've got to do it yourself and don't rely on others to do things for you because it will more than likely be done wrong then you'll just end up doing it anyway. I realized that I got that not only from my Dad but from my Grandma Ann and I will always, always be grateful for that trait. It may make me a pain in the ass but I'm my Grandma's granddaughter and damn proud of it.
I wish I'd visited her more. I wish I'd hugged her more. I wish I'd told her I loved her. I hope she's looking down at me from Heaven and is proud of who I've become and I hope she thinks I'm just like her.
I've always been a dog lover and my maternal Grandmother had a dog when I was growing up and I loved that dog more than anything else and being a moron kid, I tended to favor that Grandma over the other because, duh, DOG. I know; ridiculous but I was a kid so give me a break. So after high school, I went to college for a hot minute and knew it just wasn't for me. I sent both Grandmothers a letter letting them know I was leaving school and why. Well, my maternal Grandmother sent me a card telling me she was very disappointed in me and that absolutely wrecked me. I would spend weeks each summer with that Grandma and I thought she'd be more understanding. Grandma Ann sent me a card that said, "It's stupid to spend money on school when you don't like it. Do what makes you happy." (OMG; I'm tearing up as I write this. I sure miss her). Grandma Ann wasn't judging me in any way and I needed that so much as I was floundering and feeling like I was letting the whole world down. She still loved me because that's what a Grandma does when her granddaughter is struggling. I'm not saying that my other Grandma didn't love me but when she said she was disappointed in me, I was crushed as I'd always been close to her and her saying that really just devastated me. And I can't lie; it changed my relationship with her.
Grandma Ann was rarely in anything other than a dress or skirt; I saw her only once in my life in a pair of pants. When she was younger and we'd get together for any family occasion, she'd always have high heels on, be dressed to the nines and have the most awesome costume jewelry on. And could she cook. Her fried chicken was legendary. And bake? Sweet Jesus; no one better. My brother makes her sugar cookies at Christmas and when I open the container and get that first whiff, I always sigh and say, "Grandma." Peanut bars, rosettes, chocolate pie...the woman could bake! And every Christmas, she made rum pudding. Now, Grandma was a very strict Methodist and didn't drink and the woman had a very heavy hand when it came to the rum in her rum pudding. Would burn the hair out of your nostrils!
One year at some family holiday, we were all talking about what our favorite sitcoms were. Now, mind you, Grandma was in her 80's so I'm thinking she's not watching any sitcoms; I can remember watching The Lawrence Welk Show at her house quite often. My cousin asked her what sitcoms she liked and she paused a moment then said, "I like 'Friends' but you know what? Not everybody likes Raymond!" How can you not love that????
I think some of the most awesome moments are the moments Grandma had with my oldest niece. See, we're not a huggy, kissy "I love you" family at all but when that niece came along, Grandma was all in. One holiday at my sister's house, my niece, who was quite young at the time, was leaning over the back of the loveseat looking out at the street waiting for other people to arrive. Grandma, dressed up as usual including some kick ass spectator pumps, was right next to her on her knees looking out the window with her. I can see it plain as day. They also shared a love of fashion. Maren has been a fashionista her whole life and was walking in heels at the age of 3 better than I do now at age 50. Well, Maren always loved Grandma's jewelry and one time when we went to visit Grandma, the first thing Grandma did was take Maren by the hand and lead her to the bedroom and to her jewelry box to play. It was the sweetest damn thing ever.
I mentioned that we're not a huggy, kissy family and neither are we ones to dole out compliments; it's just not really in our nature. I was the maid of honor at my sister's wedding and I was in the lobby area of the church hanging with another bridesmaid and we were all dressed in our finery with our hair done, etc. Grandma came out of the bathroom at the top of the stairs, saw me, stood with her hand on her chest and said, "You're beautiful!" No one had ever told me I was beautiful in my life. My Lord; I can still see her face as she said it to me. (Damn; what is in my eyes? They won't stop "watering"!)
My Dad and I went to have lunch with her in her apartment one October day (she lived in her own house til she was in her 90's). Her voice had gotten so soft she was hard to hear and as we sat chatting while Dad cleaned up, I knew she didn't know who I was. She asked me if I was married and when I told her no that it was just me and the dog, she nodded and said, "You and God; that's good." Shortly thereafter, she was placed in a nursing home; she had Alzheimers. After she entered the nursing home, I went to see her and take her some clothes. She was sitting in the common room in a wheelchair dressed in a track suit which was just wrong. I sat by her and said hello and she didn't know me. I told her I was Tom's daughter and she said, "You know; that Tom just works too hard!" We talked about baseball (she was a rabid Twins fan) and a few other things. When I left, I was crying as I walked to my car. My sassy, classy Grandma was lost. I never saw her again.
My Grandma passed away at the age of 97. At her funeral, the minister spoke about how Grandma was pretty no nonsense and always did things herself to make sure they were done right and a light went off in my brain. See, I always feel that if you want it done right you've got to do it yourself and don't rely on others to do things for you because it will more than likely be done wrong then you'll just end up doing it anyway. I realized that I got that not only from my Dad but from my Grandma Ann and I will always, always be grateful for that trait. It may make me a pain in the ass but I'm my Grandma's granddaughter and damn proud of it.
I wish I'd visited her more. I wish I'd hugged her more. I wish I'd told her I loved her. I hope she's looking down at me from Heaven and is proud of who I've become and I hope she thinks I'm just like her.
Yup; Grandma had legs for days! LOL!
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