Don't Hug Me; I Bite

My parents weren't raised in hugging families therefore, I was not raised in a hugging family. We have always shown our affection through sarcasm and giving each other sh*t. In 1999, we had a devastating loss to our family on my Mom's side and as we were sitting in the funeral home off to the side of the main viewing area of the casket, we were sitting around giving each other sh*t and actually laughing. People in the viewing area were giving us dirty looks and looks like we were nuts. We have always dealt with life's ups and downs in our own special way; with humor and insults. As we were getting ready to leave, my cousin said to my Mom, "Why do we always give each other crap all the time? Why can't we hug and kiss and be normal?" My Mom replied, "This is how we've always dealt with life." Then she proceeded to give her a jokey type hug along with a noogie. That night, as we came home from the mortuary, I hugged my Mom with a real hug because I know she needed it. I'd hugged her a couple days before as well right after the death of the loved one because, again, I knew she needed it and, I'm not going to lie; I needed it, too.
When I was little, I can remember giving Dad a kiss on the cheek every night before I went to bed. The last time I gave him a kiss on the cheek was when he was in the hospital for brain surgery. That was back in 1991, I believe. Hey, when your Dad has major brain surgery, you kinda have to show him some affection to show him you're damn happy he survived.
So, again, for the most part we just don't hug or show affection so when I came to Coldwell Banker Burnet I was in for a shock. People in this company are huggy. UGH!
I didn't really know how huggy people were until we won a category in the Pillow Fight and people from our corporate office came to our office for our celebration. Our then-President hugged me as did her 2 assistants. I didn't know them all that well so it was kind of surprising. Then I was asked to join the Foundation which meant quarterly meetings at corporate and MORE HUGS. Seriously, I'd walk into the office and get hugged. For someone who had gotten very few hugs in her life, it was kinda strange. Don't get me wrong; I adored all these people who were hugging me but it was just a strange deal for me.
Years and years on the Foundation board meant many hugs and I just started getting used to it but only from people I know and actually like. One of the BVPs found out I don't really enjoy hugs so he thought it was hilarious to try and hug me. It wasn't. If I don't really know you and don't particularly like you, don't hug me. 2017, we get a new company President who I didn't really know at all. We have our Pillow Fight celebration at a local restaurant and he comes in and introduces himself and hugs me. It was a little awkward but I really like him so it was fine. Our regional VP comes and I've known him forever and I went and hugged him. The hugger BVP saw me hug him and said, "Why won't you hug me like you hug Dave?" I looked at him and replied, "Well, I like him!" He thought I was joking but I wasn't. I will say, I now allow that BVP to hug me because I got tired of hearing him whine about it.
A lot of my friends are huggy people so I am huggy with them also. And some of our clients are huggy but it's mostly the women who are huggy. And even my Dad has gotten huggy with some people. We did get kinda huggy with my Grandma Ann as we got older; you couldn't say good-bye without a hug. My brother hates hugs but when it was Grandma Ann, he always hugged her.
As the #metoo movement has overtaken things, I've noticed that hugs in our company have seriously dwindled and it kinda makes me sad. I never felt that hugs from any of the men in the company were creepy or sexual in nature; it was just a greeting with affection. One of the guys that I'm on the board with hugged me and kissed my cheek when he saw me at the golf tourney and I actually returned the hug with affection because he's super sweet and just frigging awesome. A lot of the time, I hug people at the golf tourney as it's the only time I see them every year. I also hug my friends when I see them (the ones that are huggy anyway)and even hug clients that are super special or have become friends.
I guess I've now become what I always dreaded: A HUGGER.



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