The Random Ramblings of a Sassy Redhead

My love of reading came from my Mom. My Mother is a total bookworm. Go to their house and you'll see a book on the side table by her favorite chair. When she's in Florida, she reads probably a book a day and has a library card for the Cape Coral library. When they get there, first stop is for groceries and second is for books. I can remember the first author I really enjoyed was Mary Higgins Clark. She wrote amazing mysteries and I would get totally immersed in her books. After Mary came Nora Roberts. I absolutely devoured her books and still enjoy reading them to this day. It's not uncommon for me to go back and re-read some of her books still to this day. I own so many of her books and refuse to get rid of them. Once "50 Shades" become popular, the books I read became more "provocative" but then again, I was in the majority! I remember referring to it as "The Book" with my friends and they'd all read it. In all actuality, the book kind...

I would say that as of right now, I don't have what one would call a "best friend". I have a lot of close friends but not one I would really call my "bestie". I used to have a best friend but a few years ago, the friendship died. And I don't know why. My BFF and I were so close. We'd email each other all day and every night, we'd talk on the phone for a minimum of an hour. We didn't live even remotely close to each other but it didn't matter. We'd never even met in person; we met on line but it was like we'd known each other forever. When she was going through a really rough patch, I was her shoulder to cry on. If I needed someone to listen, she lent her ear. We would laugh til we cried over the dumbest stuff. When we finally met in person, it was like I'd known her my whole life. We never stopped laughing and having fun. We were always there for one another no matter what. Then, things started to change. On her side, there were...

Since I was a young girl, I've been singing. I was always in choir all the way through school and even sang a duet at our church Christmas program once. See, I was tucked up in the choir loft so no one could see me which is what I prefer as I have massive stage fright. I was totally fine being up in front of a class until about 9th grade when my stage fright totally kicked in. I think it was due to the fact that I'd gained a bunch of weight back (I'd lost a bunch between 6th and 7th grades)and was ashamed of how I looked and I didn't want people focusing on me. Giving any type of report in class nearly had me puking all day. I couldn't eat and I would shake; it was horrible. In junior year, in concert choir, I was seated next to a sophomore with the most amazing voice that it would make you want to weep tears of joy. She has the purest voice and it's just---it blew me away. The choir director sat us next to each other on purpose. She knew I could sing and was...

In 2010, I had 4 surgeries. Two were outpatient surgeries, the third was inpatient and the fourth was supposed to be outpatient but ended up being inpatient. Before the fourth surgery, which was a "corrective surgery", I told our receptionist, who is also a very close friend, that it wasn't normal to have all these surgeries for the same damn thing and that I was sure I wouldn't make it through the surgery and I started to give her a list. What type of list, you ask? A funeral list. Yup; I was telling my friend what I wanted at my funeral. Listen, I think about these types of things long and hard! Most everyone has been to at least 1 funeral in their life, right? And most funerals are so depressing! Ok, I get that someone has died and it is very sad but aren't funerals supposed to be about celebrating the life of someone who has passed on? I want that celebration! I want funny stories and good food and booze! I want Rick Springfield music and Elton John music...

When I thought about writing this blog, I messaged my friend, Tina, about it first. I tend to bounce things off her as I know she'll be honest with me. Her response was:" I think that’s a great idea!  It’s going to b tough but like u said real and raw!  And u never know it may help someone!" I've got to post a disclaimer here: this blog isn't going to be all unicorns and rainbows, my friends. I thought writing "Fatty Sara" was tough but that was a piece of cake compared to what I'm about to share with you but if it can help even one person, it's worth the tears shed as I write this. In 1999, we had a devastating loss to our family. A beloved family member who, for the purpose of this post will be referred to as LW, took his life. To say it was a shock is a total understatement; one person once stated that it must have felt like a baseball bat to the back of the head and that statement is so f*cking true. When you hear the words "He killed...

When I was young, my paternal Grandparents lived in this little, unincorporated town called Corvuso. In this little town there was, of course, a bar, a creamery and a little country store with a residence in the back. That store and home belonged to my Grandparents and oh the memories that were made there bring the widest smile to my face! We used to head to see the Grandparents quite often as they lived just minutes from my Mom's mom so we'd kill 2 birds with 1 stone on every weekend visit. Sundays were made for dinner with Grandma Ann and Grandpa Bud. And they were also made for 5 cousins to hang out together in the store or the yard. That store...the best place a kid could play. Back then, both the house and store seemed so large but they really weren't. The store had these rough wood floors so that when the farmers would come in with cow crap on their boots, it didn't really matter. You walked in and to the right was the counter with the old, antique cash register ...

When I was a wee lass, one of my crushes (besides RS) was Donny Osmond. Oh how I loved me some of that wholesome Mormon goody-two-shoes boy! Of course, Donny and his bros were singers but Donny had his own hit that I just loved and it was "Puppy Love". When I was young, I didn't understand what "puppy love" meant except that he loved puppies! Gimme a break; I was probably 6 years old at the time. Anyway, I remember being at my Aunt & Uncle's house and hanging out with my cousin Barry. Barry is four years older than me and has always really been my "favorite cousin". He truly was one of the nicest kids on the planet and is still a super nice, down-to-earth guy (send me my check later, Bar). I was the youngest Nielsen cousin and I was usually like a 5th wheel but Barry never made me feel that way. So I remember hanging out with him in his room and he had the 45 of "Puppy Love". (For you young 'uns, Google what a 45 is.) Barry kn...

Do you remember when the only phone you had was attached to a wall and had a cord that only went so far unless you were one of the "lucky ones" whose parents got the extra long cord? I grew up when most homes only had 1 phone and if you had more than one, you were something special. And then came those amazing inventions known as cordless phones and they changed lives! You could walk around your house, go in any room and not get whiplash from a phone cord! It was an invention for the ages! And then came another invention we never would have ever imagined: the bag phone! My Dad had one and those suckers were expensive and making calls on them cost you about a week's salary at least. And then came that incredible invention that we all ooo'd and ahhh'd over when we saw it on "Saved By The Bell": ladies and gents, I give you the Zach Morris phone: Of course, this phone was only for those preppy rich kids in California. I can't remember ever seeing o...

I've been fat all my life. Seriously; I came out of the womb fat. Chubby cheeks, chubby legs, chubby everything.  When you're a little kid, you don't know you're fat. Back in my day, kids really didn't tease you for your weight--that happened later in my school years. One event did happen in my younger years and I still remember it like it was yesterday which is surprising as most days, I can't remember what I wore the day before but this event is in my brain over 40 years later. We were at an aunt's house and my cousins, siblings and I were playing out in the driveway. It was some family gathering and most of the adults were inside except for the aunt who owned the home. We were running around doing what kids do and this aunt proceeded to call me "Fatty Sara" over and over again. Now, this aunt has never been the kindest of people (obviously) but for some reason, my child self didn't see this as being nasty which I still don't comprehend ...

Back in 2004, Elton John came out with an amazing album that I don't think those who aren't Elton fans really know about. The album is called Peachtree Road  and it really is amazing. It was produced in Atlanta where pretty much every other street is named Peachtree  and Elton named the album after those streets as he was residing in Atlanta at the time as well. Also in 2004, Sir Elton was coming back to town on tour. My Dad had told me that he wanted to see Elton just once in concert as did my sister and bro-in-law and my aunt. So, being a fan club member, I asked if anyone wanted to pay the higher ticket price with me for "VIP Seating" and my aunt was all in while the others wanted the regular seats. So, of course, my responsibility to get all the tickets. I knew my aunt and I would be sitting in floor seats but you don't find out til you get to the ticket office just what row you'll be in. Usually, you end up within the first 20 rows. The rest of the family...

I've always been the emotional one in my family. Sometimes it's a good thing and sometimes it's a not so good thing. Memories pop up on my Facebook page sometimes that have me in tears whether it's a good memory or a sad one. I hate that I let my emotions get the best of me too often. If I get really frustrated or angry, do I punch walls? Nooooo. I cry. It's like I can't even help it! I recently watched the most recent remake of "A Star Is Born" and I knew how it was going to end as I'd seen the Streisand/Kristoffersen version years ago so I figured I was totally prepared. Uh NOPE. Sweet Lord, I was an ugly crying mess for an hour. It's a good thing I didn't see it in a theater as I probably wouldn't have been able to drive home with the way I was crying. One morning at the pool, the song "Shallow" came on over the speakers and it took all my willpower not to become a blubbering mess right in the Y pool! It's not just m...

When I was young, every year I would ask for a dog for Christmas and year after year, Santa didn't come through. I absolutely loved dogs; my Grandma had a poodle named Tina and I always said she was my dog because she loved me best. When I was at Grandma's, I was playing with that dog. The first year I didn't ask for a dog something incredible happened. My Dad came home from work one December day and announced, "We're getting a dog." I was struck dumb. Mom was not  happy. Dad had been to a friend's place and they'd gotten a Shih Tzu puppy and for some reason, Dad really liked it. He got the name of the breeder and reserved a male puppy. He told me it would be my one and only Christmas present and it could have been my last present ever because I was over the moon; I WAS FINALLY GETTING A DOG! We traveled to Delano, MN on a Saturday to pick up the puppy and as soon as I saw the little tiny brown and white bundle, I was in love. The pup was so young he...

Just for sh*ts and giggle, thought I'd comprise a list of random crap for y'all to "enjoy": Favorite Color: Purple. Have it in my hair even and I lurv it! Favorite Song: "Kristina" by youknowwho. I honestly love this damn song so much it's ridiculous. Unfortunately, the boyfriend didn't sing it at the last concert and I was so mad! I even had a special tee-shirt made that said, "Forget Jessie's Girl I wanna be Kristina!" Got lots of compliments on it, too. Favorite Candy Bar: It really depends on the day. One day I could be craving Snickers and another it could be a peanut butter cup. My big favorite are the little Dove chocolates. The dark chocolate with peanut butter is life changing as is the milk chocolate with caramel. Holy. Crap. Favorite Pizza:  Before they closed the original location, my very favorite pizza was Red's Savoy "garbage pizza" which had everything on it. I know they have other locations but I'...

My name is Sara and I am deathly afraid of chickens. Many of you know that I have a horrible fear of chickens but don't know why. Truthfully, I'm not really sure why I do either but I think it stems from being around 4 years old and being at my Grandma's farm when the family got together to butcher chickens. And when I say "family" I mean the whoooole fam damnily. All 5 of my Grandma's kids and their spouses and kids. They would gather in the one shed with all their chicken torture devices and go to town. The one device was this big wheel with spikey things on it and you held the dead clucker up to it and it would quickly take off the feathers. My Auntie Loretta told me that one time she begged to use that wheel and my Dad told her she would screw it up and she promised she wouldn't. See, you couldn't hold the dead bird too close or it would shred the hell outta the bird. She held the dead bird too close to the wheel. She never got to touch that whee...

My parents weren't raised in hugging families therefore, I was not raised in a hugging family. We have always shown our affection through sarcasm and giving each other sh*t. In 1999, we had a devastating loss to our family on my Mom's side and as we were sitting in the funeral home off to the side of the main viewing area of the casket, we were sitting around giving each other sh*t and actually laughing. People in the viewing area were giving us dirty looks and looks like we were nuts. We have always dealt with life's ups and downs in our own special way; with humor and insults. As we were getting ready to leave, my cousin said to my Mom, "Why do we always give each other crap all the time? Why can't we hug and kiss and be normal?" My Mom replied, "This is how we've always dealt with life." Then she proceeded to give her a jokey type hug along with a noogie. That night, as we came home from the mortuary, I hugged my Mom with a real hug because I ...

In 1991, my favorite baseball team, the Minnesota Twins, climbed up from the cellar to the big dance and made it into the World Series to face the Atlanta Braves who had also been cellar dwellers. I was lucky enough to go to Game 2 of that World Series and let me tell you, it was AMAZING. My Dad worked for an oil company at the time and worked with reps who had tickets to the game and got 4 tickets for Game 2. My sister, bro-in-law, me and a friend took those tickets and headed to the Metrodome aka the Homer Dome. Ok, many people hated the Dome but I freaking loved it!  You didn't have to worry about rain or snow or heat and when the place got rockin' and full of people, it was deafening in there! And let me tell you, the place nearly blew my ear drums out during Game 2! It was freaking awesome! We'd already taken Game 1 so the energy was super high. Our seats weren't great but we didn't care; we were at the effing World Series! Not many people get to go to the e...

I think people wonder where I get my sass from and I like to think I get it from my paternal Grandmother. Her name was Anna Elizabeth but was known as "Ann" and was from a large Danish family; she was one of 12 children. Grandma was, in two words, kick ass but I didn't really realize how awesome she was until I was a teenager. I've always been a dog lover and my maternal Grandmother had a dog when I was growing up and I loved that dog more than anything else and being a moron kid, I tended to favor that Grandma over the other because, duh, DOG. I know; ridiculous but I was a kid so give me a break. So after high school, I went to college for a hot minute and knew it just wasn't for me. I sent both Grandmothers a letter letting them know I was leaving school and why. Well, my maternal Grandmother sent me a card telling me she was very disappointed in me and that absolutely wrecked me. I would spend weeks each summer with that Grandma and I thought she'd be mo...

You know what I think would be one of the coolest jobs on the planet? No; not astronaut. No; not President. I wanna be the person who thinks up names for candles and paint! Oh come on; you know it would be so much fun! Seriously; don't you ever wonder how they come up with the names for these things? Let's start with paint, shall we? Google Sherwin Williams paint names and here's a sampling of what you'll find: Repose Gray, Agreeable Gray, Accessible Beige, Iron Ore, Passive, Lazy Gray Okay, someone at Sherwin Williams is lacking in the creativity department BIG TIME. Repose Gray ? When I think of repose  I think of a dead body. Why not just name it Dead Body Gray and call it a day? And do you really want to paint your walls with a color called Passive ? I get that we like our surroundings to be serene but Passive ? Or Lazy Gray? Step up your game, SW. Now Hirshfields has it goin' on! Get a load of these: Joyous Song, Blossoms in Spring, Nomadic Travels...